Ego is the perceived image we have of ourselves.
As both individuals and groups.
What we think we are, our identity.
What sets us apart from the others.
What makes us unique.
What do you answer when asked “what are you?“
A combination of job, nationality, religion, political affiliation?
Are you a talent of yours, your knowledge, your success, your problems?
A goal in your mind, an ideal?
Are you your tastes, your choice of clothes, your choice of car?
The way we are taught to live, is to always assert our identity whenever possible, to inflate it, to cling on it.
Identity gives us the strength to achieve our goals.
We base our choices on it; without it we’re nothing, we’re lost.
When our ego, our identity is threatened, we defend it just as we were the ones under attack.
All this creates a few problems.
First, it prevents us to be anything else.
Changing is scary, it forces us out of our own bubble, out of our zone of comfort.
Any change that may threaten our identity is outright rejected.
Reducing the available options makes our choices simpler, and we feel safer.
Second, the ego is never satisfied, our perceived identity is never enough.
When we achieve our goals, we feel a sense of satisfaction, a strengthening of our identity, but it doesn’t last much, and it’s often not what we were hoping for.
So we want more.
We consume ourselves to fill a void that can’t be satisfied.
Third, we depend so much on this sense of identity, that we cannot afford to lose it.
To defend it, we will reject any information that would threaten it, it’s the infamous cognitive dissonance.
We struggle to reject reality when it clashes with our idealistic vision.
Should ever something we identify with be exposed as a lie, we would never be able to let it go. We would do everything to defend the lie, so dependent we are on our perceived identity.
Fourth, to pump up our ego, we have to prove ourselves that our identity
is better than the others’.
We want to feel that we are superior.
And guess what? If I am superior, it means that ‘the other’ is inferior.
If we have something that makes us feel like we are set apart from the others, it forces us to think that we are ‘more’ than the others.
The more we set ‘the others’ apart from us, the more we lessen them, the more we perceive the superiority of our identity.
We get angry when our ego is threatened and fight others in order to validate our beliefs against theirs.
History is full of examples of what happens when some people feel superior to others, and this is true for societies as well as for individuals.
To be updated…